14 july 08

Takdir yang menentukan

Pertemuan yang tak disangka

Takdir jua yang menentukan perpisahan

Di talian cinta ini

Terjalin ikatan mesra

Walau hanya seketika

Bagiku sungguh bermakna

Masih terkenang lagi

Kepadamu insan misteri

Yang sudi bertamu di hati

Tersentuh hatiku ini

Rasa ingin bersamamu

Menyapu si airmata

Menghilangkan rasa sendu di hati

Setiap malam

Kutunggu panggilanmu

Resah hatiku menanti

Walaupun sehari takku dengar suaramu

Hati rindu...

Kuterasa dunia ini bagai terhenti

Aku tahu kau rindukan aku

Belaian kasih mesra untukmu

Tak sempat lagi kita bersua bermesra

Engkau telah pergi jauh

Terlerai genggaman mawar dari tanganku

Masih terkenang lagi

Kepadamu insan misteri

Yang sudi bertamu di hati

Tersentuh hati kuini

Rasa ingin bersamamu

Menyapu si airmata

Menghilangkan rasa sendu dihati

p/s: xtau lagu ape ni....sape2 leh tolong?

bubbye past, hye future

bismillah

kadang-kadang kite, manusia suke lari dari masalah

xyah gi jauh2,saya sendiri pun macam tu

kadang2 or selalunya dalam kes berat

saya agak susah nak terima kenyataan

takes time tuk terima

mybe sehari dua,mybe seminggu ,mybe sebulan

nape susah sangat nak terima kenyataan?

mungkin pahit,mungkin unexpected,

mungkin kite xbersedia

ape jadi bile kite susah nak terima kenyataan

kite rasekan benda masih berjalan seperti dulu

kalau die da xsayangkan kite,kite rase die stil sayangkan kite

kalau orang tu da tiada,kite stil rasekan yg dia masih hidup,cume kite xjumpe die

kalau kite gagal exam,kite rase sebenarnye ade chance lagi nak pas

ada certain perkara

kadang2 ia membawa harapan

tapi

kadang2

bile menyangkut nyawa contohnya

apa yang kite boleh harapkan lagi..

kalau kite gagal

mungkin bagi semangat tuk kite jangan gagal lagi

tapi saya

selalu berharap tentang masa lalu

tentang masa lalu yang memang sekadar masa lalu

hidup mesti diteruskan

baik atau buruk pengalaman lalu

saya harus teruskan hidup

gunakan segala pengalaman yang ada

agar saya jadi better dari dulu

xperlu orang lain nak tunjuk kelemahan saya

keburukan saya

sebab saya sedar

tapi memang pahit tuk terima

tuk bagitau ape kelemahan saya,keburukan saya

tapi kenapa susah saya nak berubah kalau da tau

itulah die massalah saya

saya harapkan

selepas detik ini

ada perubahan dalam diri saya

gambate~

ku ingin kamu

Demi semua yang aku jalani bersamamu

Ku ingin kau jadi milikku

Ku ingin kau disampingku

Tanpa dirimu ku

Hanya manusia tanpa cinta

Dan hanya dirimu yang bisa

Membawa surga dalam hatiku

Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku

Aku akan mencintaimu

Menjagamu selama hidupku

Dan aku kan berjanji

Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi

Ku akan setia disini

Menemani...

Sentuhanmu

Bagaikan tangan sang dewi cinta

Yang berhiaskan bunga asmara

Dan membuatku tak kuasa

Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku

Aku akan mencintaimu

Menjagamu selama hidupku

Dan aku kan berjanji

Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi

Ku akan setia disini

Menemani...

Di setiap arung gerak

Tersimpan di hati kecilku

Bahwa dirimu terindah untukku

Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku

Aku akan mencintaimu

Menjagamu selama hidupku

Dan aku kan berjanji

Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi

Ku akan setia disini

Menemani...

Selama ku masih bisa bertahan

Selama ku masih bisa bernafas

Selama Tuhan masih mengizinkan

Ku ingin selalu menjagamu[ulang 4x]

Selama ku masih bisa bertahan

Selama ku masih bisa bernafas

-romance-

MIND, BODY AND SOUL

AFTER ALMOST TWO WEEKS I CANT SLEEP

OR HARDLY SLEEP

I REALLY CANT SLEEP

MANY THINGS ON MY MIND

ESP BEFORE I SLEEP

MAKE ME SOOOOO EXHAUSTED

NOW

I THINK

MY

MIND BODY AND SOUL

ARE OFFICIALLY ILL

LAGUKU UNTUKMU

ku nyanyikan lagu

laguku untukmu

agar kau mengerti

agar kau fahami

betapa aku mencintaimu

ku nyanyikan lagu

melodinya adalah kamu

kerna cukup kamu

yang mampu indahkan sempurnakan

laguku untukmu

jauh di dasar hatiku

mengharapkan kau mendengar

laguku untukmu

kerana ku ingin kau tahu

aku di sini

mendambakanmu

andai angin bisa bicara

pasti ia dendangkan laguku

membisik lembut di hatimu

agar kau tahu

betapa aku di sini

merindukanmu

merindukanmu

ku harap kau mendengar

laguku untukmu

agar kau mengerti

betapa aku mencintaimu

selamanya

[kamu,dis is for u]

thinking postive or prepare for the worse?

bismillah

bile sumthing bad happen to us..

or sumthing bad unexpectedly happen to us,

bile kite bingung, hidup terasa seperti buntu,

kadang-kadang kite nampak ada 2 pola pikir..

orang selalu sebut,think positive..think positive..think positive..

saya pun macam tu..

bile orang mintak advice dari saya,sebolehnye kite akan cakap sumthing yg positive..

jangan fikir negative..

tp bile kite yang alami,kite sendiri susah nak fikir positive..

seakan-akan ada sesuatu dalam diri yang membuatkan kite takut nak berfikir positif..

ada apa dengan positive thinking?

bile kite dihadapkan dengan masalah, kite sentiasa mengharapkan pengakhiran yang positive.

bagi kite, bile kite berfikiran positif,kite akan lebih tenang, akan lebih mudah berfikir mencari solusi dan yang pasti, kite takkan mengalah..

tapi bagi saya

bile sesuatu melanda saya

saya merasakan ada sesuatu yang menolak dalam diri saya tuk berfikiran positif

mungkin saya paranoid

tapi

adakah semua akan berakhir dgn baik

adakah salah jika saya berfikir negatif

jika saya berpegang pada;

saya prepare tuk menghadapi yg terburuk?

bile kite berfikir positif,tetapi kadang2 nasib xmenyebelahi

membuatkan sesuatu yang buruk terjadi

dan kadang2 kite dalam keadaan tidak bersedia menghadapinya

bagi saya

bile sumthing happen

mungkin luaran nye, saya akan cube berfikiran positif

orang2 akan lihat saya seperti confident,seperti xde keraguan dalam diri saya

seperti tiada titik lemah atau tanda putus asa

tapi dalaman

saya sentiasa berfikiran negatif

bukan maksud saya give-up,bukan maksud saya lemah

bukan maksud saya takut

memang saya takut

sbb tu saya berfikiran negatif

kenapa saya harus berfikiran negatif????

sebab

im prepare for the worse

if it is really happen, i think im ready

im ready to feel lose

atleast im ready

and tu xmembuatkan saya terlalu terluka

dan bile sebenarnya sesuatu yg baik pada akhirnya

maka

disitulah kredit tuk saya

alhamdulillah saya panjatkan

mungkin itulah saya

punya sifat2 yg sangat kuat

dan pada masa yg sama

punya segala sifat yg sgt lemah

cume

kadang2 saya tak pandai memilih sifat yg kuat

membuatkan saya menjadi lemah

selemah2nye

mungkin sekarang saya lemah

mungkin nanti saya kuat

saya yang harus memilih...

i think i need therapist

seems like almost 2 weeks i've been stressed out..

signs and symptoms being stressed:

1. sleep late or i cant sleep..

even my eyes were heavy,and my body was exhausted,i just only can sleep after almost 40 minutes after i go to bed..so,for 40 minutes,i tried to relax,and sleep,but,then that's the problem suddenly came up..some people said,before u sleep u can reflect yourself,what u have done today or before..so,when i go to bed,then my synaps start to work so hard..so many things to reflect,and at last, i just feel like i'm not a good person, i have done loads of mistakes and still cant figure out how to correct it all..

2. sleep at class..

huhu..dunno why,but i still cant get through this..

maybe because i cant sleep at night make me sleep at class..

really cant pay well attention..

3. i just eat lunch and dinner..no breakfast..

at class also i dun eat, just bcoz i take that time to sleep..hahah..

i think i need therapist..

i cant think straight lately..

i am mentally ill..

hopefully my body dont get ill..

sometimes need pills to sleep..

sometimes(maybe every night)

i would cry before i sleep..just bcoz the reflection of the day..or past..

sometimes i tried to call her,just to hear her voice so that i would released a little bit,but i always called her at works,made her dun have times to chat..

even she would say dat she will call,i know she wouldn't..

but i dun blame her..

i know she worked hard every day..

even with her bad condition sometimes, i dunno how she still can work as usual..

i am so stressed..

and i hope..

this would end soon..

at least, i still can study..thanks God..

i wish..i know what to do to correct my mistakes..

i wish.. .........................................................................

i wish.. ........................................................................

i wish..i do the right thing..

Ya Allah

semoga aku masih mampu...

:+: WITHOUT YOU :+:

Softly you called to me
Across the space between
Across eternity
Where love winds a path unseen

Out of the wilderness
You beckoned my every step
I stumbled sometimes and yet
I never once looked back

Cos I would see
The man I know I used to be
How I was lost before you reached for me
No I don't know
Where I would go
What I would do

Without You
Without You
Without You

Like a heart between beats
I would feel nothing you see
If you took your love from me
I don't know what more would life mean?

I'd use my final breath
To call out your name and let
That breath upon the breeze
Rise like a kiss to thee

So you might see
Just what your love has meant to me
And what the cost of losing you would be
No I don't know
Where I would go
What I would do

Without You
Without You
Without You

Cos I would see
The man I know I used to be
How I was lost before you reached for me
No I don't know
Where I would go
What I would do

Without You
Without You
Without You

:+: MOTHER:+:

Blessed is your face
Blessed is your name
My beloved
Blessed is your smile
Which makes my soul want to fly
My beloved
All the nights
And all the times
That you cared for me
But i never realised it
And now it’s too late
Forgive me

Now i’m alone filled with so much shame
For all the years i caused you pain
If only i could sleep in your arms again
Mother i’m lost without you

You were the sun that brightened my day
Now who’s going to wipe my tears away
If only i knew what i know today
Mother i’m lost without you

Ummahu, ummahu, ya ummi
Wa shawqahu ila luqyaki ya ummi
Ummuka, ummuka, ummuka ummuka
Qawlu rasulika
Fi qalbi, fi hulumi
Anti ma’i ya ummi
Mother... mother... o my mother
How i long to see o mother
“your mother, your mother, your mother”
Is the saying of your prophet
In my heart, in my dreams
You are always with me mother

Ruhti wa taraktini
Ya nura ‘aynayya
Ya unsa layli
Ruhti wa taraktini
Man siwaki yahdhununi
Man siwaki yasturuni
Man siwaki yahrusuni
‘afwaki ummi
Samihini...
You went and left me
O light of my eyes
O comfort of my nights
You went and left me
Who, other than you, will embrace me?
Who, other than you, will cover me?
Who, other than you, will guard over me?
Your pardon mother, forgive me

by: sami yusuf

i miss my family

i dunno why i miss them

i think i should go back on raya

sebab xbalik

i think,

im homesick badly

im so stressed this week

i cant think clearly

i tried to be happy

but inside me

im so lost

im hoping to meet my mum

i dunno

even sometimes i didnt tell her my problem

but,hear her voice or see her face

make me calm a while

my mum sakit

next week baru gi jumpe specialist lg

i just pray to Allah

semoga mum xsakit2 lg

xbengkak2 tangan lg

i dunno how she cant face it

she is very strong

i never met great mum like her

and im proud she is my mum

mum

i love u

and i miss u so much

*muah* *muah*

fakta pelik tentang saya

1. kalo saya travel,besa nye naek keta,saya xtau nape kaki saya akan tap tiap kali saya lalu tiang lampu..macam duk mengira jarak or byknye tiang lampu sepanjang jalan
2. kalo naek keta,saya suke kire no plat keta or moto org..n saya dapati kebayakan nmbor,bile ditambah2,sama dgn 20,or mendekati 20..
3. bile saya tido sambil on alrm clock,kalau saya terbangun awal dari alarm,saya sure tido balik sampai alarm berbunyi..even 1 minute b4..bagi saya,penat je la xbgn time alarm bunyi sbb da penat2 set..kne la bg die berbakti gak..die akan rase kite menghargai die sbg alarm kalo kite bgn sbb bunyi die..ehhe
4. bile saya basuh baju,tym bilas,saya suke kira bape byk baju yg saya basuh yg menggunakan haner..sbb nnt saya akan ambik cukup2..xsuke kurangg,xsuke lebih..and kadang2,bile xkire,saya akan ambik haner,pura2 berpikir,then saya ambik ikut instinct..leh kate,most of the time,my prediction was right..hehe

bersambung...

kesalahan yang sama

Dulu memang aku pernah salah

Dan semuanya t’lah ku lakukan

Namun bukan berarti hidup dan cintaku

Tak tertuju padamu

Saat ini sejenak dengarkanlah sayang

Semua itu hanya perjalanan

Dan mungkin aku akan terjatuh lagi

Si kesalahan yang sama

Hanya satu inginnya hatiku

Hanya satu inginnya cintaku

Terima sebagaimana adanya diriku

Dan ku akan tetap mencinta

Kau yang buatku mengerti

Dimana harus ku kembali

Saat ku hancur dan terhempas di kesalahan yang sama

song by: kerispatih

P/S: never heard this song actually..

but i think,i can feel the lyric..

:+: YOU CAME TO ME :+:

You came to me in that hour of need

When I was so lost, so lonely

You came to me took my breath away

Showed me the right way, the way to lead

You filled my heart with love

Showed me the light above

Now all I want Is to be with you

You are my One True love

Taught me to never judge

Now all I want Is to be with you

You came to me in a time of despair

I called on you, you were there

Without You what would my life mean?

To not know the unseen, the worlds between

For you I’d sacrifice

For you I’d give my life

Anything, just to be with you

I feel so lost at times

By all the hurt and lies

Now all I want Is to be with you

Showed right from wrong

Taught me to be strong

Need you more than ever

Ya Rasul ALLAH

You came to me

In that hour of need

Need you more than ever

Ya Rasul ALLAH

You filled my heart with love

Showed me the light above

Now all I want is to be with you

You are my One True love

Taught me to never judge

Now all I want Is to be with you

by:sami Yusuf

really inspired me at this moment,

when i feel i have no hope

seems likes

seems like this gonna be the end..

i just wanna start new day with sunshine

but seems like

its a rainy day

its a rainy day

and i think im gonna sick

goodbye.my.love

-_-

i think

i have done what i could to ask u for forgiveness

i dunno if its enough or not

but

thats all dat i can do

i know its not enough

but

im afraid

if i did something which i thought i should

but then it is turn out to be something i shouldn't

i will make it worse

so

i will stop right here

its ur decision to forgive me

im still hoping

one day u can forgive me

so

till then

i will be alive back

i had 1 bad day today

and i dont want tomorrow will repeat the same

i wanna live my life

cherish every moment

and hoping everything's gonna be fine from times to times

but still

in my heart

there's always u

in my mind

there's always u

in each breathe

is always u

in every step

im thinking of u

"love the heart that hurt u

but never hurt the heart that love u

please dont hurt my heart"

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

IM SO SORRY

I LOVE U SO MUCH MAKE ME HURT SO BAD

saya minta maaf,saya memang macam ni

saya minta maaf

saya memang macam ni

saya sangat pentingkan diri

saya suka dimanja

saya suka diberi perhatian

saya suka dipujuk

saya suka lepaskan geram

saya suka kemahuan saya dituruti

saya tak suka ditengking,even memang silap saya

saya tak suka dimarahi,even memang silap saya

saya tak suka bersabar,even sabar itu bagus

hakikatnya

saya sayang

saya rindu

saya minta maaf

saya memang macam ni